“What time is my football training?”
“Is it time to go yet, mummy?”
“Are we going yet?”
“Is it football training time yet?”
“Can we go to football training now, mummy?”
Trainboy must have asked these questions and many other variations a hundred times yesterday afternoon. It was to be his first proper football training session and you guessed correctly; he had been bouncing off the walls with excitement all afternoon!
Admittedly I wasn’t feeling the excitement… Sitting around, watching a load of kids kick a ball in a cold and damp football pitch – for an hour – is really not my idea of fun. And seriously, can any of you see me as a football mum?
No? Neither could I. But there I was, sitting on the side, watching him run around in his new kit and boots, kicking the ball, squealing with excitement and enjoying every second of it. And I couldn’t help pitch in, encouraging him every time he got the ball, urging him forward.
And out of the blue, a sense of nostalgia and sadness hit me. Where have the last six years gone? My baby has turned into this confident and independent big boy. And I’ve turned into a football mum. Trainboy and I have always had such a special bond. Would we lose that now? Will our new life weaken our bond? Or will it make us stronger?
Fear gripped me and expanded through my body and mind, out of control. I felt a little sick. I knew this wasn’t just about the football. I searched for Trainboy’s green football shirt on the field and when I located him our eyes locked. He gave me a big beaming smile then ran towards me, arms wide, lips pouting.
“I love you, mummy” he said as he planted a kiss on my lips and gave me a big squeezy hug “Thanks for bringing me to football.” then turned and ran back to the pitch, back to his football game.
My fear and sense of loss dissipated instantly. Life often changes. Love doesn’t. And Trainboy will always be my baby.
PS: Written a month ago.